(Left to right..  Coldwater Creek Silk , Coldwater Creek cotton,  Designer Louis Feraud, Vintage Unworn, Designer Oleg Cassini RTW current silk..

Uh oh.. I think we all know where this thread is heading to now  )


         '' YES,,  I NEED a raise.. I just got the bill for my birthday dress''

''But we didn't go out on your birthday .. so why buy a dress for it.. ''

          ''Ummm.. just in case ''

''But we never go out on your birthday.. why on earth would you even think we would now after thirty some years ? ''

          '' I am a very optimistic person Mr P.. YOU of all people should know that..  There is always hope.. there is always a faint chance.. A pig has dreams.. she has..........''

'' Never mind .. forget I ask''  cut in Mr. P

         '' So .. do I get to keep the dresses ?'   asked Mrs. P..

''DRESSES ?  AS IN ?  Just how many dresses did you buy ? ''  groaned Mr. P..  '' Why would you even buy more than one dress..  ?''

          '' Now dear.. don't get so bent out of shape.. I can explain ,, its really quite simple.. You see.. First I bought the Louis Feraud dress..  it was just too good a buy to pass on..  Very hard to find.. and its PINK.. but then I realize.. there is no way I could wear it..   Because its vintage.. never been worn.. and if I wear it now.. it will devalue it..   I was just concerned with making sure it was a good investment..  I was only looking out for our assets..  '' sniffed Mrs. P..

           ''   So then I bought the Coldwater Creek..  Now the only way to get free shipping was to spend over a certain amount.. so I did..   You should be proud of me saving you shipping costs..  ''   '' But then I realized that hmmmm..  they don't look as '' out to dinner special as I wanted. ''  So then I bought the Cassini dress..   Its really pretty and I can't wait till you take me out to my birthday dinner so I can wear it ''  hinted Mrs.. P..

'' I can't afford to take you out to dinner now even if I wanted too. not after paying for four dresses'' sighed Mr. P..

            ''  Actually,, it was a few more then four dear... ''

'' MORE THEN FOUR?  Why would you buy more then four when you didn't even need one ?''

            '' Now calm down..  it was just that you know.. My birthday is in Jan.. and this is TX.. and the morning I ordered those dresses it was 78 degrees.. but by the time we got ready to go to bed it was only 30 degrees and dropping fast.  So I was worried it might just get TOO cold to wear a sleeveless dress.. so I bought a few with sleeves..  One just never knows........''

'' Can't you just wear a sweater ?'' asked Mr. P..

           ''  And ruin the look.. you gotta be kidding.. One does not wear a sophiticated Oleg Cassini dress and put a sweater on.. its just not done..  What would be the point of having a really nice dress just to cover it up with a sweater..  I swear Mr. P.. sometimes I just don't understand you... ''

          '' And besides that.. I got tired of all the new blue dresses.. they may be classic in color.. but along with all the new little black dresses the closet was looking so depressing ''

'' Why on earth would a pig need a black dress. much less a handful of them ? ''

          '' You never know dear.. someone might die.. especially on your side of the family.. I heard just the other night on the news.. they are not real fond of feral hogs anymore..  They might be in real danger.. ''

           '' And then .. I also wanted some for our cruise ''

''CRUISE ?  WHAT CRUISE ''

          '' Oh..  guess I forgot to tell you.. I am signing us up for a cruise to celebrate our anniversary.. it will save you the trouble of trying to surprise me with an anniversary present''

'' Well its a big surprise to me that you even thought I might even think of an anniversary present''
'' I don't want to go on any cruise.. I have spent enough time at sea.. ''

          '' Then you stay home dear.. I will take a girlfriend with me instead.. maybe Sally.. she has good shoes I hear ..''  

'' I think I am seeing stars''  groaned Mr. P.

          '' Then you need new glasses.. those aren't stars.. they are polka dots.. lots and lots of polka dots in all different colors..  in case you are color blind also.. ''  added Mrs. P.

''POLKA DOTS.. On a Pig ? ''

          ''  Its that Julia look.. the Marilyn Monroe look.. classic.. never goes out of style.. Fun and besides that..  I needed some relief from all the diagonal prints I also bought .  I must say my closet looks fabulous .''

THUD.. '' WHAT diagonal dresses ?  ''

          '' Now everyone knows.. you gotta have striped dresses.. they make you slim.. What gal doesn't want to look good.. ''  pouted Mrs P.

         '' Don't be a spoilspig.. .. I needed all those dresses to balance out all the florals I bought. I am so in love with Lolly Politcer.. especially the sundresses.. after all it does get so hot down here.. a girl can't have too many sundresses when she lives in TX..    Course I COULD sew them up myself if I just didnt' have to spend so much time cooking and cleaning ..  ''
         '' So you see.. there is a reasonable explanation for all those dresses you see.. ''

'' I thought you just bought long sleeve dresses because you were cold  ?  ''

          '' Let me explain.. there are dresses , then there are dresses.. There are long sleeved, and short sleeved and cap sleeved and butterfly sleeved and on and on..  Then there is the length.. mini, maxi , knee and anywhere else they might fall,,  add that to fabric choice.. polyester, cotton, vicose, silk, linen, rayon, wool, and all the blends.  Not to mention all the styles..  Well, you just better have one or two of each on hand to make sure you can be properly dressed for any occasion no matter the weather.  ''  

'' But I count over ten blue ones alone.. blue isn't even your favorite color.. so why so many blue ?''

(POOR MR P.. is puzzled indeed, and a bit dizzy too )

         '' You already know dear from when we painted the house.. blue is a hard color to match.. almost impossible. one doesn't realize just HOW MANY shades of blue there are.. you just have to keep buying till you get lucky and find a match .''

'' A Match ?  A match to what ?  ''

        '' Just a few new purses .. and that is why I need a raise ''  

     




(to be continued.. grins)