Meanwhile.. back at the Farm..  ''YOU DID WHAT "

''Good morning Mrs. P.  whatcha thinking about "

          '' Now I am just sitting here having my pot of coffee... not thinking about a thing..( just wondering.. when I am going to get my birthday prezzie.. )What makes you think I am thinking about anything in particular ? ''

'' Now .. aside from the fact You are always thinking about something. Usually something that involves me.. so thought I would head that off and put an end to that right now. ( Hope she isn't thinking about her birthday present )  .. in any case when are stroking your chin while drinking your coffee.. a clear indication you might be thinking about something..  ''

           '' Not necessarily a sign of anything on my mind.. You stroke your beard all the time and I know you aren't thinking about anything.. esp anything important.. like say. a birthday prezzie or Valentines Day which is coming soon.. like REAL SOON..  ''  sighed Mrs P.

'' I stroke my beard out of habit.. because it tends to itch .. so not necessarily a sign of anything on my mind either...''

           '' Good to know that dear.. I thought maybe the fleas had arrived early this year.. jumped from the dogs into your beard.. and .....''

'' Now where are you going.. we still haven't talked about Valentines Day Mr. P ''  yelled Mrs. P..

'' I am going to go shave my beard .. thanks to you..  ''

'' WHERE are MY razors ?  ''  yelled Mr P from the bathroom..

            '' Well you see dear. YOU weren't using them anymore so rather then use my ten for a dollar razors I decided to use your rather expensive razors.. ''

''YOU USED MY RAZORS on YOUR legs''  grrrrrrrrrrr ..

            '' Well.. there too.. but I only did it so to save you money.. so you wouldn't have to worry about how much you have to spend on my birthday present..  I did it for you.. ''
            '' But don't worry.. I saved them all and planned on rinsing them and putting them back into the package they came in..  ''

'' I can't believe you would even do that.'' stated Mr. P.

            '' Well dear. I have been doing things like that for Years Mr. P.. YEARS..  Take your shampoo for instance.. You won't use the VO five.. Oh no.. you want the expensive stuff..  so for years I just watered it down after every use.. but then I got smart. Now I just take the old bottle and put in the cheap shampoo.. and water it down instead. ''

            '' ITs really all YOUR fault Mr. P.. if you would just buy me that darn prezzie so I knew what you had spent.. then I would not have to worry about saving up so much money for it.. Clearly its a burden on me.   For thirty years now I have had to pinch pennies just in case you bought me anything. its rather tiresome... ''   Mrs P said with a big sigh.
           

''What about all that sausage we eat ?'' asked Mr P.. taking a second look at his breakfast..

         '' Hmm.. well I have to admit.. I have no idea whats in that sausage to start with.. I am not sure anyone knows what went into their sausage.. its one of those things you just know not to ask.. you don't want to know.. no one really wants to know.. So.. its one of those things YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT "

             '' YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA how much money I save you dear.. You should be more grateful.. thats all I'm saying.. a little gratitude.. and some appreciation shown by way of buying me a birthday present would be nice..  thats all I am sayin...''